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COVID Diaries

I recently responded to a survey conducted by History Colorado. They are interested in documenting this historical moment in time, the days of COVID-19 and the stay at home order. Here were some questions they asked. Thought I would put them here at I can also look back on this years from now.

In 100 years, what do you want people to know about what is happening today?
I hope that in 100 years we can look back at this time and see that COVID-19 brought upon a turning point for us as Americans. I hope we can come together as humanity to change many of the wrongs that were happening prior to COVID-19, including racial injustices, health disparities, and systemic oppression. Not to mention, our lack of care for climate change issues and protecting the Earth.

What is happening right now is that many of us are staying at home. Essential workers and health care workers are sacrificing their safety for the rest of us. There are people directly suffering from contracting the disease and then there are people who are suffering from the effects of the disease. People have lost their jobs. They cannot pay rent. They cannot buy food. Not everyone is so lucky to have a job where they can work from home. COVID-19 has shown us many of the inequities that exist in our systems, such as how some families still do not have access to the internet. Children are expected to move to virtual learning while many of them do not have access to a tablet/computer. From a societal perspective, it is frustrating to watch these things unfold and feel like you are unable to help much. All I do is try to donate to different causes when I can. I would also add that leadership from the federal government has been infuriating, which I hope prompts people to vote in November 2020.

On a lighter note, my social media feeds are full of friends competing in push up challenges, cutting each others’ hair and creating delicious foods. I have participated in virtual happy hours and played games over Zoom. I am working full-time from home while trying to take care of a 5 month old baby and 2 year old toddler with our daycare closed. This has been one of the most challenging experienes of my life, trying to balance being a good mom and a good worker. My kids show up on my Zoom video calls every day, but my colleagues are understanding. This is the reality of our times. I have not done my hair or put on makeup in a month and I wear pajama pants everyday.

What is your home life right now? What activities are you doing to keep occupied? How are you coping with the change in social interaction?
As a mother of two little ones that is also expected to be working full-time, my life is chaotic. I squeeze in 20 minutes of work time throughout the day and then spend most of my time working when the kids are asleep (7pm-midnight). People keep asking me what I’m doing for ‘self-care’ which I find to be such a silly question when there is absolutely no time for ‘self-care’ let alone a moment all to myself. Aside from work, my days are spent trying to teach my toddler ABCs, potty training, nursing my baby, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, going for short walks around the neighborhood, playing in our yard, building snowmen (Colorado springs!), and going to the grocery store once a week.

Family dinners during COVID

I am coping fine without the physical social interaction. I identify as being an introvert so to some degree I am happy being at home and not having to be in social settings. I still feel like I am in touch with people outside of my home on a daily basis through ‘virtual world.’ Every time I feel stressed out with the kids and my husband (and wish I could by cooking fancy dishes or doing pushups), I do take a moment to be thankful that I am quarantined safely with them. I do know many people who are quarantining solo and I would find that very isolating and lonely.

What has changed the most for you? What is your greatest concern about the pandemic?
What has changed the most for me is that my husband is also home with me every day now. He is an optometrist and prior to COVID-19 he would go to work every day. I worked from home and took care of our baby, while our toddler was in daycare. Now that we are both home, we are having to adjust to this new way of life and trying to give each other patience and grace. We remind ourselves that we are a team and that we will get through this together.

I have several concerns about the pandemic:
1) That a vaccine won’t be created for a long time, if ever. And it appears we do not have immunity to the virus at the moment.
2) The people will start to ‘revolt’ or protest like they already have in some cities. They will not want to be stuck at home much longer. However, this may result in a further increases in cases.
3) That my parents or someone close to me will contract the disease and I may lose them forever without being able to give them a proper funeral/service.
4) That Asian Americans will continue to experience discrimination and hatred far after COVID-19 because people will continue to blame them for what has happened.

My thoughts on April 17, 2020.

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